Let the buyer beware

Probably the first person to use the term "caveat emptor" was a salesman on "Honest Flavius' Used Chariot Lot" in response to some poor schlemiel standing there with a broken axle from his chariot. P.T. Barnum, of course, gave the definitive summation of the situation with "There's a sucker born every minute...and two to take him". Now don't get me wrong. This isn't going to be another tirade against hucksters. I'm as capitalistic as the next person and applaud everyone's right to make a quick buck, or a quick multi-million bucks as is the case with the founders of many get-slim-quick schemes. I also applaud people's right to know the truth, especially when that truth affects both their health and their pocketbook. Having been apprised of the facts, they can then do what they jolly well like.

The author Rebecca West once said "It unfortunately happens that the troubled times which produce an appetite for new ideas are the least propitious for clear thinking". Right on, Rebecca...and you should see some of the fuzzy thinking that today's appetite for super nutrition is producing. I find it hard to believe that one would need specialized training as a dietitian to be doubled up with laughter at some of the claims being made for disease prevention via special foods or potions. Of course, dietitians are becoming so weary of discussing the latest nutrition fad that their senses of humour are being stretched a tad thin. An occupational hazard, I suppose.

Time and space won't permit me to list all the funnies but I'll try and cover a few of the best. For openers, how about the phrase used in promoting many products: "The amazing magic of natural...(you name it)". Magic, as we know, involves trickery, slight of hand, and the art of illusion. If you believe in magic, I have some great swamp land in Florida...full of all kinds of natural stuff.

Many of the manufacturers of 'nutrition' products claim that their product will 'cleanse the system'. It's amazing to me that so many systems are in need of 'cleansing'...people seem obsessed with the notion of ridding their bodies of alleged poisons. Cleansing their wallets may be more to the point. Not quite so funny, but nonetheless misleading, are advertisements for calcium supplements. Granted, if there are no milk or milk products in your diet, then calcium tablets will definitely help fill the calcium gap. The deceit comes with the notion that calcium alone, or even calcium plus vitamin D are all that are needed to avoid osteoporosis. This, unfortunately, is not the case. Calcium can't do it alone...aside from the fact that susceptibility to the brittle bone disease depends a lot on the wisdom you used in choosing your parents. In other words, genetics has a lot to do with one's vulnerability. Other than that, and aside from the need to participate in bone-strengthening activity, there are many nutrients that contribute to bone health...and they all just happen to be found in milk and milk products. Nutrients like protein, magnesium, biotin and vitamin K.

Another bit of hilarity struck me one evening in a hotel room. Having arrived without dinner and not wanting to have a heavy meal just before bed-time, I looked at the mini-bar as it promised "healthy cookies". The cookie in question was oatmeal and raisin (everybody knows how healthful such a cookie must be). Well, this particular offering came in at 420 calories for just one cookie. True, it was a big cookie, but 420 calories for one sweet seemed too rich for me...I went to bed hungry.

And on the subject of misleading advertising, can someone please explain to me how the cosmetic industry can get away with such outlandish claims? Though their advertising is full of such weasel words as "may" and "might", they very often claim that "research has shown a 75 percent reduced perception of fine lines". What a crock! Caveat emptor indeed.